Brian Cushing, AP Defensive Rookie of the Year despite requiring a voter recount in light of the surfacing of his having tested positive for a banned substance, spoke publicly and answered questions regarding this issue for the first and last time at Reliant Stadium in front of hoards of local and national media.
The press conference consisted of a 3-minute statement and 17 minutes of Q & A that because of the dynamic imposed by the organization, didn't allow for follow-up questions to explanations devoid of reason, logic, or probability. Of a dubious nature not seen since Slick Willy's "I did not have sex with that woman" were the overwhelming majority of the star linebacker's claims.
Cushing eluded to fear of tumors that could be the only culprit capable of causing a presence of hCG, given his training program and strictly adhering to a diet of supplements consistent with NFL standards. Though he spoke of a regimen as pure as the wind-driven snow, he slogged through excuses masquerading as explanations like curbside slush: yucky and miserable.
In the end, Brian's claims suffered the same result as that of a broken calculator: they just didn't add up. I have tumors, but I haven't pursued treatment...Tumors caused one indication of a presence of hCG, but no others...The NFL inaccurately defined me as guilty of taking banned substances, but I will pursue no vindication.
Brian's song was sour indeed.